The Battlegrounds of Love
by The Kobold Necromancer
Summary: For lovers of fanon, absurdity, and sappy, syrupy romance, we have the alternate-reality pairings of TDI and TDBG characters all right here! All kinds of wacky fanon of all shapes and sizes! This is for those who read TDBG, and mostly Winter.
1. Tyler and Hannah, Tylannah

**Disclaimer** - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI and TDA. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home (except for the kissing, but with non-family members).

**The Kobold Necromancer's Notes** - Happy birthday, Winter-Rae! That's right, I'm starting this fanon story in honor of your birthday! And I hope you really like it!

For all of you wondering what the hell I'm doing, I'm pairing up all of my Total Drama Battleground characters with the TDI characters! Every chapter will be a TDI/TDBG pairing! Some of them you can easily see in the real TDBG, some are going to be a shock!

This is also to satisfy all you fanon lovers, who wanted some in TDBG. Sadly, since it turns out it'd be harder to do the story by breaking up the canon couples, I will be doing it here more, and much more wild! Every single camper, from Alfred to Zachary, from Anita to Valerie, is getting paired up, in OC/TDI style!

**Pairings** - The first is **Tyler**/**Hannah**. The rest... are a mystery for now!

**Rating** - Rated T for Teen for sexual natures, swearing, mild violence, and other things. Might turn M later, but you never know.

**Time Setting** - In a very weird AU, everyone is here in the TDBG contest. This is only so we get all their reactions, and so there are no spoilers for those who are reading TDBG at the same time.

* * *

**Story One** - Holy Sports, Tylannah!

* * *

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The contestants were all at the cafeteria, eating their breakfast. Not many were saying much, just the normal amount of making out, glaring, quiet words, and noisy body functions (the last being Owen mostly).

It was one question that got everyone thinking, and Jasmine was the one to ask it. "So what are we going to be doing today?"

"I think Chris told me something about that," Geoff said, breaking away from Bridgette for a few seconds. "Apparently, our challenge isn't until later today, so we're going to be watching a movie or some kind."

"A movie?" Sandra grumbled, snapping her gum. "How lame."

"I don't mind watching a movie," Harold said. "Always handy to watch something new to pick up an awesome new skill."

Duncan scoffed. "You're lame."

"No, _you're_ lame!"

"Boys, don't fight," Daisy pleaded. "We haven't even started this contest yet, we can kill each other then."

"And boy, won't that be fun," Eva said, grinning.

* * *

"So how's this giant video screen work?" Heather asked as they all walked into the stadium.

"Don't call Vera that now," Joel said. He shook his head, and said, "Vera, our virtual reality machine, can play movies. I programmed a DVD feature in her."

"Nerds and their machines," Zachary remarked as he sat down. "It's so stupid."

"Oh it is not," Gwen snapped at him. "People today couldn't live if half their technological junk was gone."

"You rigged up all this to see a movie?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Truth be told, there's much more to Vera than a movie player and even a virtual reality game," Joel told all of the others. "She has the ability to create an Alternate Reality!"

"Say what now?" Leshawna asked, looking confused.

"See, what she can do is make a movie based off of us," Joel continued to explain, "without us having to lift a finger to make one! We've all been in a virtual reality game here at least once, so she could make a movie based off those facts, like make a random movie of us trying to survive a zombie apocalypse."

"Are zombies all you weirdoes think about?" Valerie mumbled.

"What about love?" Crystal asked.

Joel made to answer the romantic, but couldn't see her. When he looked around, there she was at the controls. "Oh Crystal," he called out, heading towards her. "You shouldn't fiddle with her, please!"

"Don't worry, my dad's a computer expert, and I get what I'm doing," she replied, smiling. "I was up all night last night making fanon pairing movies!"

"You were?"

"Yeah, and I was gonna do that today," she said, giggling. "Like we all know all the couples that have been made and everyone loves, but what would happen if they were with other people?"

"I've heard you talk about that," Bridgette said. "Are you going to just randomly pair us up?"

"Why not make this fun?" Crystal exclaimed, a very big smile on her face. "Let's see what would happen if we paired up new people and veteran contestants only!"

She was pushing buttons, and before anyone could react, a movie began to play on the giant screen...

* * *

**(Ye Old and Fantasy Times)**

Lady Hannah Silvergem walked through the dry hills, peering around for the dust goblins that were ravaging the land. She gripped her holy mace when she thought she saw movement, and it turned out to someone fight a dust goblin.

Hurrying down the hillside, she saw the man clad in red clothing, boxing with the creature. One punch missed, and the young man struck a rock. Though the stone broke and cracked, the cry of pain from the man was a good sign that he didn't want to have done that.

The dust goblin cackled at his misfortune, pointing at him as he blow on his reddened hand. With a furious snort, the man turned back to the goblin and delivered a swift kick to the head. The nasty creature let out a cry of pain that was cut of at the end, and it fell to the ground dead.

Hannah hurried down to him, and he looked up at him, staring at her. She was a beautiful sight, in polished, mithril armor. The golden hair flickered in the wind, which was actually the force of magic flowing around her as she quickly cast a healing spell.

She saw the agony leave his eyes as his hand slowly but surely healed. Bones mended, cracked skin formed back together, and pain left his sore hand. She shook her head and said to him, "You broke so many bones in your hand there, sir."

"Thanks, hon," he said, giving his hand a good shake. Smiling at her, he said, "My name's Tyler. What's yours, miss?"

"Hannah," she replied, raising an eyebrow. She was used to a flirty smile, most people did not flirt with a paladin. "Lady Hannah. Are you out here to combat the tide of dust goblins?"

"Yep, a young kobold told me how pestering they were, and also rich," Tyler said as he walked over to the corpse. As he searched it, he found a small pouch. "Holy cow! No offense," he added as he opened it. "This sucker had about seven gold."

"_Oh great, another greedy gung-ho fool_," Hannah said with a mental sigh. She looked at him and decided to voice her disgust. "Is that all?"

"He didn't have anything else on him," Tyler said, not noticing her upset state. He brushed his hands and looked over at her. "I haven't had a healer assisting me in a long time. Could you help me out, Lady Hannah?"

Though she was upset that all he seemed to carry about money, she agreed to help him out. Judging from his balance, he was going to need a lot of healing. She hoped her savior above would bless her with enough mana to keep him alive.

She was right. Tyler was a coin flip, in that he either wiped out an opponent in a seriously stylish move, or he hurt himself a great deal more than the enemy had been aiming for. Hannah was using prayers, healing spells, and blessings to keep the man alive.

He was always going after the money and whatever he thought he could sell for a silver or two. This was annoying her more and more, but he was being very polite too. Also, she couldn't help but sense he was flirting with her.

"You have incredible hands," he noted when she healed away a long scrape on his arm. "Very delicate but firm."

"You're awfully quiet," he said at one point. "Are most paladins that quiet? You have such a nice, calming voice, it seems a shame you're so quiet."

When the sun started to set, the two started to head back to the nearby town of Goldenwinter, named after the fact that when it snowed around this dusty area, it looked like golden flakes tumbling down from the heavens.

"Thank you very much, Lady Hannah," he said to her, bowing respectfully. "Do you want a cut of the money I found?

"I don't need any more than I already retrieved," she said, a little more blunt than she meant. "Thank you anyway."

"Alright. I hope I see you around, my body feels stronger than ever after your touch," he exclaimed, flexing to prove it. "Well, I mean after your healing touches, that is."

"Right," she said, sighing. As Tyler went his separate way, Hannah went directly to the church of Goldenwinter City.

The beautiful church was Hannah's place to stay as she worked to help this struggling city. Between dust goblins, blood lizardkin, and the cursed spirits from the demon wars two centuries ago, Hannah had her hands full with impish devils, violent murderers, and damned ghosts.

The nun there, Sister Ocean, was a kind soul who had allowed her a place to sleep, assisted in repairing her armor, and providing food and water. She was there whenever Hannah came back from questing.

"Welcome back, sweetheart," Sister Ocean said, giving Hannah a gentle hug. "Are you okay after your day of adventuring?"

"Yes, the dust goblins have been quelled for today," she replied. "I cannot get over how quickly they take over those hills."

"It shall be alright, just have patience in our savior, and-"

She stopped when someone entered the church, and Hannah was startled to see it was Tyler. Sister Ocean, even more surprising to her, looked very pleased.

"Oh, Tyler," Sister Ocean said, approaching him and noticing the small sack in his hand. "Are you here to donate again?"

"I sure am, Sister," he said, handing her the small sack. "That was the majority of what I found and sold today, about one hundred and twenty-four gold pieces."

"You are too kind. The orphans will be so pleased."

" 'Orphans'?" Hannah repeated.

"Oh, the gentleman here has been donating money to the orphans being watched over here at the church, hon," Sister Ocean said to her. "You've met them."

"I... I have," she said, looking at Tyler. She remembered how charming those little kids looked: sweet little Paige, tough but charming Colt, and the very passionate Wolf. The large combination of all the difference races of orphans, from dwarf to rabbitkin to human, made it seem like deep down, everyone wanted the same thing, and that was someone to love.

When she looked more at Tyler, she wondered how she could think he was some bulky barbarian. Maybe it was the way he stood, which seemed to be a cocky stance, but his boyish and cute smile trumped that.

"Oh, have you two met?" Sister Ocean asked, looking between the two. She smiled as if knowing something. "I'll leave you two be then."

She walked off to manage to money she had just, while Tyler and Hannah faced each other. The paladin girl scratched the back of her hand and sighed. "I... had misjudged you, sir. I must apologize."

"I'm sorry?"

"I thought you had been greedy out in the dusty hills, and I treated you badly," she said, bowing to him apologetically. "Can you forgive my treatment towards you?"

"I didn't even notice. You are too sweet to mistake that, m'lady," he said, smiling at her.

She felt her face grow hot from a blush, and looked away. Then she smiled and said, "If I may ask, um, why are you working to get money for the orphans?"

"My parents were killed in a war a few years back, so I wanted to make the life of those who have felt the same easier," Tyler said. "I think the money I earn will help them with food, water, clothing, and maybe even toys. I have a few kobold contacts who help provide a trade with this city."

"You are too generous," she said, clasping her hands. "Though I think the divine elves who run this city are more concerned with the war than the people, so I've been doing nothing but fighting. I hadn't thought about the people in that way."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you do so much better in combat than I do," Tyler said. He scratched his arm as he said, "I know I got a wicked kick, but my aim is not the best. I'd love to get some magically enchanted gloves to help me punch more powerfully or accurately, but those are horribly expensive."

"Tell you what," Hannah said. "From now on, we shall work together, and earn enough money for not only the orphans, but ourselves."

Tyler looked surprised, then excited, but hid how pleased he was at that idea. "That sounds good, Lady Hannah."

"You can call me Hannah, Tyler," she said, smiling at him.

He felt his heart skip a beat when he looked at her. "Wow," he couldn't help but say. "Whoa now, are paladins allowed to flirt like that?"

She giggled. "Of course, silly. You're thinking of nuns. Paladins are allowed to flirt and date," she then felt a surge of impishness as she added, "and we haven't taken vows of chastity."

Tyler swallowed a lump in his throat, and then managed to grin right back at her. "Never on the first quest, m'lady."

* * *

The two worked very well together, but it was awkward at first.

Tyler was still clumsy, and more so now that he knew Hannah was watching him. An orc almost decapitated him when he was watching her fight another one. At night, when camping out together, kept having to remind themselves that they were in dangerous lands, and couldn't get into any tomfoolery.

Hannah was getting close to perfecting her healing spells with him, and felt very grateful for this. Tyler was always complimenting her, telling her how wonderful she was. This kind of honest praise made her feel warm, just like how he felt when she healed his broken bones and gashed skin.

One day, they approached a large tribe of dust goblins. The evil beings hadn't seen them, and they were planning a surprise attack.

"Okay Tyler, here's what we should do," she whispered to him. "You charge in there, drawing all of them towards you. Use your spinning kick attack to drive them apart, and I'll use Sacred Flare to blind them."

"I'm so glad that doesn't work on allies. But are you sure you want to do that? They always come after you when you cast that."

"I'll be fine, sweetheart," she said. Leaning forward, she kissed him on the cheek, the first time she ever had. "You just be careful, I know how strong you can be when you concentrate."

Tyler felt his heart beat faster, and pumped his fists. "Alright! Let's get those punks!"

He charged in, roaring at the dust goblins. The creatures saw this, and panicked.

{Shit,} one of them cursed in the goblin language, {that guy's inspired by love! We don't stand a chance!}

{RUN AWAY}, they screamed, beating a hasty retreat. {RUN AWAY!}

All of the dust goblins ran off, screaming in terror. Tyler stood in the middle of the abandoned village, blinking his eyes. "Whoa," he muttered. "Didn't know I was that terrifying."

Hannah took to searching the village, and found something that took her breath away. "The Sacred Wawa Statue," he exclaimed, lifting a golden relic that looked like a state of a duck holding a gnomish rifle. "Frig!"

"I've never heard you swear," Tyler said as she approached her.

"Technically, it's not a swear word, just a replacement for it. But I cannot tell you had wonderful it is we found this! It was stolen from the Goldenwinter church a year ago, and Sister Ocean had given up hope in finding it."

Hannah approached Tyler, holding the statue in one hand. "I cannot thank you enough for being with me. I couldn't have handled all those dust goblins alone."

"You give me too much credit," Tyler said, fiddling with his head band. "Sure, my skills may have intimidated those punks, but you're the one who motivates them."

Hannah blushed, but managed to keep looking him in the eye when she added, "Well, I think I want to stay around with you more, and not just to inspire you. I rather... like you."

Now it was Tyler's turn to blush. "Wow. I really like hearing you say that."

Hannah decided to make the next move, because when being trained by a paladin, you were taught to fear nothing, especially not something like affection. She shifted the Sacred Wawa Statue into one arm, and reached around Tyler with her other. Gently pulling his head to hers, she gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

Tyler was very surprised, but smiling when she slowly pulled away. Looking into his brown eyes, she whispered, "I've grown very fond of you, Tyler. Will you continue adventuring with me?"

"I'd be more than happy to, Hannah," he replied, wrapping his arms around her. "I was going to ask you the same thing, if I could work up the nerve."

"You're so funny," she said, giggling. "You'll charge into a village of vicious goblins, but you have trouble asking a girl out."

As the couple continued to sweet talk and share even sweeter kisses, some of the dust goblins watched from afar.

{Man,} one grumbled, punching the ground, {how's a guy get a girl like that?}

{Oh shut up, I think they look cute together,} another added.

{Frig! I had that statue in my hut for months,} a third angrily cursed. {How was I supposed to know women liked that kind of stuff? I blew it big-time!}

After sharing one more passionate kissing, Tyler and Hannah stared into each other's eyes and smiled. "Shall we return the statue back to Sister Ocean now?"

"Oh yes, she's going to be so happy!"

* * *

**(Maclean Stadium)**

As the movie faded out, everyone was watching with mild interest to absolute fascination. Hannah had been blushing the entire time, but a slight smile on her face. Tyler, who had his arm around Lindsay, looked embarrassed but also rather amused.

"So...," Lindsay said, making him blush and look at her nervously. To his surprise, she looked very amused. "That would be what you'd look like in a fantasy movie!"

"You too," Mandy said to Hannah, raising an eyebrow. "Mithril looks good on you!"

Tyler chuckled nervously, then shrugged. "Well, that was all fiction. I'm still seeing my wonderful Lindsay."

"But you did look cute with her," Lindsay noted, tapping her lips in thought. "So if we break up, are you going to ask her out?"

Tyler looked over at Hannah, and they both blushed and looked away. From the console, Crystal started to giggle. "Oh, this is too good," she said to herself. "I need to play with this some more!"

"Now hang on," Joel said, approaching her. "You cannot just have more ways to show off Hannah and Tyler dating."

"You're right, I gotta do more TDI/TDBG couples," Crystal gushed, pressing more buttons. "Now, who's next?"

* * *

**End of Story 1.**

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* * *

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More of these stories will come in due time, mostly depending on fan reactions. Since Winter-Rae loved Tyler and Hannah, but they are seeing other people in TDBG, it couldn't be... except in another fanfiction!

I also added the fantasy theme to it because Winter loves her new game Dragon Age, and I figured a little paladin, warrior, and monster-feel to this story would make everything more interesting! Heck, with Vera, anything is possible!

**Next Up** - Ha! Fooled you! I spoil nothing!


	2. Cody and Mandy, Candy

**Disclaimer** - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI and TDA. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home (except for the kissing, but with non-family members).

**The Kobold Necromancer's Notes** - Let us carry on, eh? Before that, I want to give a shout-out to two people who have inspired this particular one-shot, and are among my many friends who continue to encourage me to write these stories. A very naughty and fun Tiger named **070986**, who lurks on Deviant Art; go check out her awesome stuff, including a darn fine drawing of wicked Mandy. And **Patriot44** also gets a big shout-out; you can find him here and on DA too.

Go check them out, as well as my other favorited friends when you all can. So many of them don't get enough attention, and they really deserve more credit for all the work they do.

**Warning** - This particular story has got **yuri** in it. Not action in bed (or wherever else you naughty people can think of), but implications and insinuations. If that disturbs you, sorry, but it is a straight pairing overall.

Speaking of which, I still wonder if I should be T or M for these stories. Sex is so much more fun to write about than just implications, but I don't want to drive away those too young to read such stuff (then again, what's "too young" these days?). You people make the call.

* * *

**Story Two** - Unholy Mistress, Candy!

* * *

--

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As the contestants of Total Drama Battlegrounds awaited the next movie, there was already a good deal of talk on which two would be next; however, one didn't just want to chat.

Alfred approached Crystal, who was busy at the controls, and caught her attention. "So this machine can make things science-fiction, fantasy, or other wild things?"

"Yes, but it can also make things realistic."

"Naw, don't do that! Do something wild and out there!"

Crystal giggled, and said, "Oh, all right. And which bird do you want to be paired up with, Alfred?"

"No no, not me. At least not yet," he said. He leaned over to whisper into her ear, pointing at a certain platinum-haired cultist. Crystal giggled some more, and nodded.

"Oh, I can think of a certain situation to put her in," she said, grinning impishly, "but the TDI boy will be random."

"Thank you very much, m'lady."

"No problem, young chap."

They exchanged a smile before he went to go sit down. Vera's screens came to life a couple minutes later, and most were surprised to see a city view of a large metropolis. What was more surprising was the rather large, evil-looking castle looming at the outskirts of the city, looking imposing and dominating, taller than the skyscrapers. The camera zoomed in, and eventually made its way into the throne room...

* * *

**(The Kingdom of Mistress Mandy)**

Mistress Mandy, ruler of Earth, sat on her throne. The throne room was rather small, simply because she preferred privacy when sitting upon her regal seat. The dark purple linen, the red eyes on the darkened silver metal frame, and the soft cushions were a sign of power, cruelty, and fluffy comfort.

It had been three years since she had controlled the world. She had prepared for Cthulhu's rise, and had somehow managed to use her powers to enslave the mighty Old God. Now forever under her control, the world was hers, as no one and nothing was strong enough to slay the mighty beast.

This turned out to be rather easy too. She just put a few world rules into effect, and for the most part, everyone obeyed. Sure, it's hard managing the entire world, and micromanagement can only do so much. But so long as major terrorist groups were disbanded, slavery and suppression of women abolished worldwide, and that damn Hannah Montana show canceled, Mandy was happy.

That was, until now. Mandy had been picking up pastimes to pass the time now that she controlled the world, and was starting to get a little bored. She pushed a button on the control panel of her throne. "Send Izzy in here, Miss Anderson."

"As you wish, Mandy."

Mandy pursed her lips. "Look, you know, just because we're good friends doesn't mean I'm going to allow you get away with calling me like that, without, like, a title and all."

"Well, are you going to force me to do so?"

"Naw, I wouldn't do that."

"I appreciate that, you are a sweetheart."

Mandy winced, and hollered, "THE MISTRESS OF EVERYTHING DARK AND SINISTER IS NOT A SWEETHEART!"

"Righto, Mandy," came the cheerful, giggling reply, "God be with you!"

The mistress of everything dark and sinister face-palmed. "No, I control Cthulhu... oh fine, I'll let you be nice. Your God is obviously nice enough to allow me to control this puny world, so I guess I should be grateful to Him."

The main door to the throne room entered, and Izzy came bounding in, slamming it shut behind her. She was dressed in tight clothing, a dark green tint to them, showing off her curves and features. Her most prominent feature was still, of course, her crafty grin.

"Yes, O' Mistress of Sexy Proportions and Devious Plans?" Izzy asked, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

Mandy rolled her eyes. Izzy had a tendency to stretch her title. With a wave of her hand, she said, "I am starting to get rather bored, and have decided I need a little... attention."

"Okay!"

Izzy approached Mandy's throne, and got down on her knees in front of the queen, very close. She helped pull the cultist's legs apart, and leaned forward, hands sliding up Mandy's skirt to reach her panties.

"No, not now," Mandy shouted, bonking Izzy on the head with her fist. "Another time, you redheaded nympho!"

Izzy pouted and rubbed the sore spot of her head. "Well if you don't want a sexual favor, don't insinuate it, my mistress!"

"Fair enough. What I do want... is a man."

Izzy's eyes widened, then she grinned again. She pulled out a bag of toys from behind her, and began fishing in it.

"If you pull out of there what I think you are," Mandy barked, "forget it! I want a real man!"

Izzy pouted again. "Fine, fine. I suppose you want me to go get one for you."

"Please be so kind, my friend."

"Hey, you're the mistress ruler of the whole world, why are you always so nice to me?"

"We're alone, silly, I don't need to keep up appearances for you with that."

"Fair enough! Now, what kind of man?"

"You should know. And if not, go ask Hannah, she's closer to me."

"Oh, your secretary? That's cool, but what a boring job."

Mandy frowned at her. "That was originally _your_ job! I don't know how you became my sexy servant and plants tender."

"The ferns are getting lovely."

"Fine, fine, now get me a man!"

* * *

**(Much man searching later.)**

"Not only did I find one for you, Mistress of Sexy Loins and World Leader," Izzy said as she tugged on the leather leash, "but I also scored me a date tonight!"

"That's lovely, Izzy."

The redhead giggled. "His name is Ezekiel, and he's got the cutest toque and I love how shy and nice he is-"

"Yes, good, perfect, leave me be with my new man!"

Izzy nodded and skipped out, leaving the man in the room with Mandy. Said man was Cody, looking rather nervous but rather excited when he saw the ruler of the world approach her.

Cody stared at that purple-black dress that fitted Mandy's sleek frame very well, the cleavage on it displaying her ample breasts generously. The strong hands, one clenching her favorite dagger, looked eager to grope him.

And they did. After Mandy sheathed her blade in its scabbard (which was under her skirt, and Cody got a good look at her legs that way), she circled around him. He was shirtless, wearing tan pants, and his hair was slightly unkempt. The cultist leader caressed him with her fingertips, feeling up his shoulders, chest, and neck.

"What an adorable, boyish frame you have," she purred, running a finger around his nipple. "Izzy knew well. That, or Hannah told her."

Cody managed to grin at her, despite all nervousness. "Hey, your majesty, if I'm yours, that's cool."

Mandy raised an eyebrow. "That's 'cool', eh? The mistress of the world wants you as her man toy, her sexual partner purely for her own pleasure, to be dismissed and possibly executed when done with, and you think it's cool?"

"Yeah, I kind of do."

Mandy blinked at him. This was rather unexpected, and they were even the same age. She noticed, for the first time, that his hands were tied behind his back, and that he was wearing a collar with a leather leash attached. This kind of domination would make anyone humble or defiant, but he was still flirty, like a college boy on campus.

"So you submit to my demands?"

"You know it, babe."

"THE MISTRESS OF THE WHOLE WORLD IS NOT A 'BABE'!"

"But you are."

Mandy fumed, then corrected herself. "If you're going to rebellious, I got news for you."

She leaned forward, her red eyes looking into eyes with a devious twinkle. "I have plans for you. Because I'm going to do to you what no man can stand, not even the strangest could find pleasant or fun. You are going to do whatever I want... because you are the person I can do anything, and I mean that with the strongest sense of the word, _anything_ to."

* * *

(In Mistress Mandy's bedroom.)

"And in fourth grade, that Edward boy told me I had *hic* stupid hair," Mandy sobbed, covering her face and blubbering nonstop. "He *sob* spat on me! *hic* And the other kids were laughing, and spitting on me too! And the teacher didn't *hic, sob* do anything about it!"

Mandy had been doing this for some time, leaning against the side of her bed and telling her life story. As many would guess from a woman who now controlled the world and considered her reign the most evil of all, she didn't have a happy one.

None of this deterred Cody. He sat down next to her the whole time, rubbing her back and occasionally holding her hand. He helped hand tissues to her, and had gone through several boxes already. Her diabolical make-up was a tear-soaked mess.

"But... but... that's not the worst of it," Mandy choked on her words. "The worst thing ever... was when I started crying, and they all started laughing harder! *hic, sob, wah* And the teacher... she... she said I should stop overreacting! With tears and other peoples' spit running down my face!"

She let out another series of good crying sobs, tears running down her face now too, snot dripping from her nose, saliva caking her trembling lips. All these ugly signs of someone losing it completely in her misery, and yet Cody didn't look away. When her hands failed her, he helped rub away all the water and mucus from her face.

"Did you do anything to them when you took over the world?" he asked her when she had somewhat recovered.

"N-no. I mean, I rule the freaking world, I showed them I'm better."

"That's the best kind of revenge, lead a better life," Cody said, smiling at her as he finished cleaning away her tears. "Feel better?"

"Y-yeah, I do," she admitted. She looked over at him, blinking in confusion. "W-wait, you actually care?"

"Of course I do."

"But... but why? I'm the evil bitch queen who controls the world with a dark, iron fist!"

"Naw, you're not. To me, every girl is special. Heck, my first major crush was a goth girl in high school."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a one-armed hug. "To me, you're beautiful, even when crying and confessing like this. Every girl has something special about them, and your ability to be so tough yet so sweet underneath is what makes you special."

"The mistress of everything tough and dark," she muttered, looking away as she rubbed her sore eyes, "cannot afford to be sweet."

"But you are," Cody said, smiling at her. He gave her a gap-tooth grin, one that made her heart flutter. The technogeek leaned in and gave her a kiss on her soft cheek. "If you want to act diabolical and cruel, you can, but I'm sorry. You cannot fool me."

"How... how do you know that? A girl like me acting like that is actually not what she seems like?"

"The goth girl acted the same. Plus, you have a lot of stuffed animals for your supposedly cruel bedroom."

"I cannot bear to throw away my teddies," she grumbled, huddling up behind her legs. "They mean a lot to me."

"Well, Mistress Mandy-"

"Call me Mandy when we're alone, my man service servant."

"Alright. Wanna call me Cody?"

He grinned at her some more, wiggling his eyebrows. She giggled, very unlike a dark queen, and nodded. "Okay, Cody. What would you like to do?"

"How about we hit an arcade? I'd love to show you something from my technogeek life."

"What kind of foolish activities can one get from there?"

* * *

**(At an arcade.)**

Mandy watched two young ladies bouncing on the Dance Dance Revolution machine. She knew their names (Anita and Lindsay) because they had been part of her escort for her date with Cody. She also knew why Cody had no protest to them playing the game first.

A small crowd had started to form to watch the well-endowed girls play a game that involved them jumping up, down, and around, but Mandy had threatened them all away. Now it was just her, Izzy, and Cody watching.

The cultist leader of the known world was starting to get hypnotized by this. "I'm straight, I really am," she muttered to Cody, "but I cannot look... away... look at them boing!"

"Hmmph, you're not straight with me," Izzy grumbled.

"You were mostly there because I hated men for a long time due to my unpleasant years in public school," Mandy snapped. She lowered her tone, and added, "Though you were always... good."

"Aw, thanks! And so are you, but now you have your own boy-toy and boyfriend, Cody!"

"THE MISTRESS OF REALLY BAD THINGS DOES NOT HAVE BOYFRIENDS!"

Cody chuckled at her hollering, then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "Nope, just one," he said to her.

She blushed cherry red, and let out a giggle that mistresses of really bad things do not let out. "I'm gonna lose my reputation," she replied.

"Send all the girls off, and I'll teach you how to play DDR!"

"N-no, I'll look like a damned fool," Mandy stammered. "Plus... it's more fun to watch."

"Aw yeah, it usually is," Cody replied, pointing at the two girls. "But I think they need a break, and you wouldn't want to objectify your own servants."

"No, I like them. Rather have someone else to objectify," she replied, shrugging. With a whistle, she called out, "Hey! Anita! Lindsay! Stop bouncing around and go find boyfriends!"

Lindsay stopped first, giggling happily and running off. Anita looked at her queen and replied, as her feet continued to stomp, "Can't I finish this song? I'm doing so well-"

"NOW!"

"Alright, alright," Anita griped, throwing her hands up. "Honestly, it's almost a sin, leaving a good game in the middle like that."

"Go find someone to date, I want my servants happy and something to complain about at the same time," Mandy instructed. "Izzy, you too."

"Yay," Izzy cheered, and she ran off. Out of the corner of his eye, Cody saw her pouncing on Ezekiel from behind, coiling herself around her boyfriend as the prairie boy tried to maintain balance.

Because of this, he missed Anita slightly checking him out before she walked off. Lindsay was already chatting with Harold, who had been at the virtual shooting range but was far more interested in talking to her (and impressing her with his awesome sniper skills). Anita took one more glance at Cody before finding Tyler sitting alone, and started chatting him up.

Mandy was now in Cody's mercy as he instructed her on DDR. She was starting to get the hang of it when she noticed a small crowd was forming behind them. This irked her.

"THE MISTRESS THAT CONTROLS OLD GOD CTHULHU IS NOT SOMETHING TO STARE AT LIKE SOME CHEAP FAN SERVICE," she roared at the boys. "If you want boobs, go log on the internet!"

After the crowd scurried off, Cody laughed and gave her a hug. She looked up at him and asked, "What is so funny?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just find it incredible that I'm dating you."

"I'm not the dating type, I'm the ruler of the known world-"

She stopped when Cody leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She felt herself swoon, and wrap her arms around him. The technogeek's boyish frame was easy to hold, and soon his arms were firmly around him. Neither noticed the absolute failing score they got for that DDR round.

When their lips parted at last, Mandy took a couple deep breaths. "No one ever willingly kissed me," she admitted. "Well... except Izzy. You really like me that much?"

"Of course I do," Cody said as he stroked her hair. "You're fierce, cute, creative, and intelligent. I could go on, mostly because I love that beautiful blush on your cheeks."

"The mistress of cultism and ruler over puny humans does not blush," she whispered feebly. She hugged him back completely, squeezing him as emotions overtook her normal sense of being. "I... I think this is the happiest day of my life. Better than when I took over the world."

"Well, you took over my heart, Mandy," Cody said, grinning at her again. "That may not sound like much, but it is to me."

"And me," she replied, grinning back at him now. "You know, I see us having a lot of fun together. You play video games?"

"Are you a beautiful and powerful woman?"

Mandy laughed, pumping her fists. "Score! I want a man who can fight me well in my games! And I want someone to watch thriller movies with!"

"Can do!"

"And maybe Izzy will want a threesome with us."

"I'd love to, but I think she has other plans from now on."

Cody pointed over at Izzy, who was making out passionately with Ezekiel at the arcade drum set game. He had been playing it, but now she was seated in his lap, both coiled around each other.

Mandy rolled her eyes. "I told her to find a boyfriend, not a soul mate. And at this rate, none of the arcade games in the arcade are being played."

Cody smiled at her, then kissed her forehead. "Well, we should play another dance game then, shall we?"

"You just want to see my boobs jiggle."

"Yes," Cody said, "and I want to see a woman who can best me at one of my favorite games!"

"You're on, my mortal boyfriend!"

* * *

**(Maclean Stadium)**

Mandy was blushing bright red throughout most of the movie, and could feel so many eyes looking at her. She studied the floor, trying not to notice.

"Well, aren't you sly," Anita said to Cody, grinning at him. "Seducing the mistress of darkness and crafty intentions."

Eva snorted, glaring at Anita then smirking at Cody. "Well, you're successful in an alternate universe, that's for sure."

Cody chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "The Code-Miester is powerful in all worlds, I like to think," he joked, smiling at both the girls.

"Well, one thing I thought was funny," Zachary said with a not-so-friendly grin, "was how Mandy was just as much not-straight there as she was here."

Izzy swatted him in the back of the head, then hit Valerie, who was laughing too. "Izzy does not tolerate you making fun of her friend," she shouted at them. "Even if she looked damn hot with her... with her!"

Mandy clenched her fists and hollered as loud as she could. "THE FUTURE MISTRESS OF YOUR LITTLE WORLD AND EVEN SMALLER REALITY SHOW IS STRAIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"And looks cute with Cody," Izzy added, nudging her friend as she giggled. Mandy blushed cherry red and glanced at the technogeek.

Alfred grinned. "Well, that surely was interesting. Next!"

* * *

**End of Story 2.**

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Too much? Too little? Your reactions will generate more! Of course, there will be less yuri in the future in the straight couple stories, but since it's a joke with Mandy in TDBG, I decided to joke about it more here.

**Next Up** - I wish I knew where to go next, so you won't know either.


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